Well, Jeff now gets to use a Satan emoji to describe me.

Here's why:

I was at the Burbank airport earlier this week, returning my rental car, and I heard a running sound.  The next thing I knew, a man (whose weight I've estimated at over 200 lbs--he was a big guy) had tripped, fallen into me, and caused me to drop my phone.

Let's just say that I used most of the words that Jeff has taught me over the years.  Yes, I cussed him out.

Then he got angry at me, because I wasn't sympathetic to his plight.  I wasn't as concerned that a big man had run toward me, tripped, and fell on me as I was that he could have hurt me.  Heck, he had scared me, and my first instinct was to defend myself.  I'm 5'2.5" (yes, that half inch counts), and he was a six-footer.  Here's a hint, folks:  you fall on me, and my first reaction will be self-defense.  So I yelled at him some more.

He got up, complained to everyone that I wasn't very nice because I wasn't concerned about him or his problems, and then followed me to the terminal, referring to me as "Satan."  I finally said, "Look--I'm sorry you ran and fell, but you're over six feet, and I'm 5'2" (I left out the half-inch), so how do you think I felt when you fell on me?"

He kept muttering.  So I think I'm still Satan, at least to him.  And now Jeff gets to use this emoji when texting me:

But why stop there?  He could use this one:

Or this one:

And I can't get this earworm out of my head:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62Qfbrc1jdo.

How NOT to collect a legal bill.

We used a friend of ours, Mike Cenatiempo, to update our wills.  Mike used to work at Shannon Gracey, which is now defunct.  We paid our bill in December 2016.  We got a "past due" notice from the defunct Shannon Gracey law firm yesterday.  So....

Dear Shannon Gracey Collections Office:

The best way to ask a client about a past-due bill is NOT to start with a past-due notice.  The best way is to ask, "hey, we can't seem to find your check--was it ever cashed?"  That's especially true when the law firm has cratered.  After all, dying law firms often have problems with their business operations, which can involve losing checks while closing a practice.

So now I'm an irate former client who has no intention of losing a pristine credit rating.  I tried to find former Shannon Gracey managing partner Richard A. Lowe to complain, but the My Texas Bar site is down.  Let's see what happens when the collections person gets our letter, showing a copy of the check.