Why the Westin Cincinnati is likely the very worst Westin in the country.

How do we count the ways in which the Westin Cincinnati is a very, very bad hotel?

First, the good news:  friendly staff and great location.  That, however, is the only good news.

1.  Let's start with safety.  There should be at least one telephone in the room that works.  It would be nice if it's by the bed, but let's not quibble.  The phone should work.  Mine didn't when I arrived, so I used my cell phone to call the front desk.  After a four-minute wait, a staffer said that she'd send someone up to fix the phone.  The person who came up was quite nice.  I now have a phone that doesn't make odd sounds.  It does connect to humans.  But the volume can't be adjusted, so the humans sound as though they're on a different continent.  One expects working phones in a hotel, especially at a solid chain like Westin.

2.  It takes a very, very long time to reach anyone on the staff.  It's about a 5-minute average, no matter what time of day I call.

3.  Room service is delicious, and it should be, given the extraordinarily high prices of any off-the-menu things like a side of fruit.  That side of fruit, at $14 for a bowl, was mighty tasty, except for the bad taste in my mouth that the overcharging created.

4.  And the winner for why staying at this hotel is never, ever going to be worth it:  there were a lot of us milling around in the lobby last night, because none of the elevators worked.  That makes it difficult for guests to get to their rooms.  I understand the importance of staff members staying calm in the face of angry guests, and they were calm--and as I'd mentioned before, very friendly.  What they weren't doing was getting repair people out to fix the elevators.  After hearing again and again that the repair people were coming (and I'll find out later today if they came, of course), I climbed the 12 flights up to my room.  In the dark.  In a back stairwell.  It's a good thing that I always carry a flashlight.

Here's the thing:  Westin says that it cares about customer service, and I've been assured repeatedly that management will do something to make amends for its many failures during this stay.  I'm still waiting.

This is a very, very bad hotel.  Not as bad as this other hotel, maybe, but bad nonetheless.  There are so many great hotels within a block of this one that I can honestly stay that staying anywhere else within this block would be better than staying here.  If Westin cares about its brand as much as I hope that it does, then it should figure out how to fix the many things that go wrong.

Oh, and by the way, when the front desk calls (on that sounds-like-long-distance phone) and says that a manager will call me at 7 a.m., it's probably a good idea to call me then.  Otherwise, this happens.

P.S.  It was lovely to see a treadmill in my room.  It really was.  But there is no way to get the plug out so that the treadmill has electricity.

UPDATE:  The manager called me at 7:40 a.m.   He was very nice, and he addressed my concerns.

How NOT to collect a legal bill.

We used a friend of ours, Mike Cenatiempo, to update our wills.  Mike used to work at Shannon Gracey, which is now defunct.  We paid our bill in December 2016.  We got a "past due" notice from the defunct Shannon Gracey law firm yesterday.  So....

Dear Shannon Gracey Collections Office:

The best way to ask a client about a past-due bill is NOT to start with a past-due notice.  The best way is to ask, "hey, we can't seem to find your check--was it ever cashed?"  That's especially true when the law firm has cratered.  After all, dying law firms often have problems with their business operations, which can involve losing checks while closing a practice.

So now I'm an irate former client who has no intention of losing a pristine credit rating.  I tried to find former Shannon Gracey managing partner Richard A. Lowe to complain, but the My Texas Bar site is down.  Let's see what happens when the collections person gets our letter, showing a copy of the check. 

Why I am frustrated with B of A.

In October, a B of A ATM ate a check that I was depositing.  I called Customer Service, and B of A  gave me a credit for the check while it was investigating what had happened.  (That was the last good part of this story.)  The representative explained that the bank would crack open the ATM, retrieve my check, and take care of the deposit.

That was in late October.

It is now November 11.  The claim is still "pending."  B of A's social media people have left me two messages.  I've left them two messages.  They won't email me because it's "not allowed."  They won't send me an email on B of A's own website because, well, they don't have a good explanation for that.

B of A, do you not service your ATMs regularly?  Do you not service them after a customer says that your ATM ate her check?  Do you not want to fix this problem?

Is it time for me to complain beyond B of A itself?

Dear Hilton Corporation:

Why is it, that at least one Doubletree, you have set the systems running the televisions (according to the repairperson I met yesterday) to change, at random times, from the channel that I want to watch to the Movie Promo channel, thereby interrupting my viewing preferences?  The repairman told me that he is powerless to prevent the channel-changing.  Did you set this channel-priority-programming in place because:

• You believe that your guests have no idea that they can rent movies in your hotel rooms?
• You dislike the fact that I prefer news in the morning to the repeated loop of Mario Lopez (who was, in fact, a very good dancer-contestant on Dancing With The Stars, so I have nothing against the guy) touting movies that I will be able to get later on Netflix or Hulu or Amazon?
• You think that I am too old for Adult Swim at night?
• Movie Promo channel is the sole source of your profitability?
• You bought too many batteries at one time for your remotes and want to make sure that you use them all before they expire, and therefore you've decided to encourage your guests to use their remotes more--by making sure that they keep switching back to what they wanted to watch and away from the dreaded Movie Promo channel?
• You have stock in the Movie Promo channel?  Lots of stock?  The amount of stock that requires you to file something with the SEC if you sell it all at once?
• You've seen Gaslight and think it's an extraordinary movie (which, really, it is)?

Whatever it is, let's just say that you're winning the social science wars here.

Why I quit LVAC and switched to Lifetime Fitness, and why I'm really happy about the switch.

There's nothing wrong with LVAC.  It's a nice gym, and it's reasonably priced.  But I love Lifetime Fitness, even though there's a huge price differential.  So why did I switch?

The fundamental reason has to do with my chosen sport, which is ballroom dancing.  When I started at LVAC, I practiced in empty racquetball courts, until people outside the courts complained that my movement was distracting them.  (I offered to pay for the court time, and I wore shoes that wouldn't scuff the floors, but the management said no.)  Then I practiced in the hallway downstairs.  That was fine, but I had to keep starting the walls of my routine over and over, because of the restricted space.  So I started getting up early to use the empty group classrooms.  One day, though, the front desk said that I couldn't practice there, even when the rooms were unoccupied.  I felt like Milton in Office Space.  And I went off to tour Lifetime Fitness in Henderson.

Yes, it's pricey.  It's the cost of two dance lessons a month.  But:

• The staff members are very, very friendly.  Some of them even ask me how my dance practices are going.
• There are dance rooms, including one with a ballet barre wall.
• If the dance rooms are locked, the front desk will get someone to unlock a room for me so that I can practice my routines.
• The facility is immaculate.
• I never have to wait for cardio machines, and the machines have some fun bells and whistles.
• Bottom line:  Lifetime Fitness recognizes that dance is an athletic activity, and it has fulfilled each of the promises that it made to me when I signed up.  I'm very happy that I switched.

I'm in the process of healing fully from my foot surgery in January.  Thanks to the talent of Dr. Michael Monroe, this weekend I was able to do a small Smooth competition (Viva Las Vegas--World Promotions) to test-drive my stamina and my ability to use my right foot.  (Yes, someone at the Lifetime Fitness front desk wished me luck last week.)  I owe most of my thanks to my teacher, Sergei Shapoval, and my coaches, especially Mariusz Olszewski, who's been working with me on a regular basis.  But I owe more than a little to Lifetime Fitness.  (And I came in first in a 7-couple straight-to-final Open B Smooth Scholarship event.)

Now, I'm off to the gym to prepare for USDC.  Thanks, Lifetime Fitness!

Why I quit LVAC and switched to Lifetime Fitness, and why I'm really happy about the switch.

There's nothing wrong with LVAC.  It's a nice gym, and it's reasonably priced.  But I love Lifetime Fitness, even though there's a huge price differential.  So why did I switch?

The fundamental reason has to do with my chosen sport, which is ballroom dancing.  When I started at LVAC, I practiced in empty racquetball courts, until people outside the courts complained that my movement was distracting them.  (I offered to pay for the court time, and I wore shoes that wouldn't scuff the floors, but the management said no.)  Then I practiced in the hallway downstairs.  That was fine, but I had to keep starting the walls of my routine over and over, because of the restricted space.  So I started getting up early to use the empty group classrooms.  One day, though, the front desk said that I couldn't practice there, even when the rooms were unoccupied.  I felt like Milton in Office Space.  And I went off to tour Lifetime Fitness in Henderson.

Yes, it's pricey.  It's the cost of two dance lessons a month.  But:

• The staff members are very, very friendly.  Some of them even ask me how my dance practices are going.
• There are dance rooms, including one with a ballet barre wall.
• If the dance rooms are locked, the front desk will get someone to unlock a room for me so that I can practice my routines.
• The facility is immaculate.
• I never have to wait for cardio machines, and the machines have some fun bells and whistles.
• Bottom line:  Lifetime Fitness recognizes that dance is an athletic activity, and it has fulfilled each of the promises that it made to me when I signed up.  I'm very happy that I switched.

I'm in the process of healing fully from my foot surgery in January, and this weekend, I did a small Smooth competition (Viva Las Vegas--World Promotions) to test-drive my stamina and my ability to use my right foot.  (Yes, someone at the Lifetime Fitness front desk wished me luck last week.)  I owe most of my thanks to my teacher, Sergei Shapoval, and my coaches, especially Mariusz Olszewski, who's been working with me on a regular basis.  But I owe more than a little to Lifetime Fitness.  (And I came in first in a 7-couple straight-to-final Open B Smooth Scholarship event.)

Now, I'm off to the gym to prepare for USDC.  Thanks, Lifetime Fitness!

What a $20 self-parking charge cost the Renaissance Las Vegas Hotel.

I used to like the Renaissance Las Vegas Hotel.  It was a great place for business breakfasts and lunches, and it was where the Law School Admissions Council held one of its conferences this year.  But I won't go back there.  As I pulled in this morning, the cost to park was $20--not just for valet service but also for self-parking.

For those who are not Las Vegans, $20 for self-parking is pretty much unheard of.  The point of free (or near-free) parking here is that we want patrons to enjoy the premises and spend their dollars elsewhere.  So $20 for parking goes against the Las Vegas culture.

But the story gets worse.  I asked to see the manager.  No luck.  I asked to have the manager drop by while I was having breakfast.  No luck.

If I had more free time, I would do a powerpoint on the order of this classic one (here).

Goodbye, Renaissance.  Let's see how the Las Vegas market treats your new changes.

Tale of a customer service fail (GrubHub)

Last night, we decided to order in and catch up on some shows, so I did what I often do when I'm out of town--order from GrubHub.  I ordered nice and early (yes, we're early risers, so we're early diners, too), on the theory that the food might take more than an hour to arrive.  I got a confirmation number with my "yes, you've made an order" notice (below).  After more than an hour had passed without getting the food, I called the restaurant, which told me that I had no such order on file.  I started to order directly from the restaurant, because we like the food there a lot, and then decided that I'd order elsewhere instead (which we did).  I told the restaurant that we didn't want to order, after all.  I tried to contact GrubHub, but the website was down, the phone was busy, etc.  So I tweeted my problem to +GrubHub Seamless.  Radio silence.

Three hours later, the restaurant's delivery person showed up w/our order.  Apparently, GrubHub put the order through once its website was back up.  We told the delivery person that we'd canceled the order three hours earlier. 

I got back on Twitter and on Facebook.  The Facebook site indicates that the same thing was happening to more people.  I posted another tweet, and once I finally got the GrubHub email that "my order was in the works" (three hours too late), I replied and explained my problem--and asked that I not be charged.

STILL radio silence.  Let's see how long it takes for GrubHub to get back to me and others affected by yesterday's webfail.

Why I switched from Fitbit to Vivofit--a customer service story (UPDATED YET AGAIN)

I like fitness trackers.  I like measuring things, and I don't expect the trackers to have pinpoint accuracy.  They exist as motivational devices and to show trends, and--generally speaking--they're good at those two things.

I said "generally speaking" because the Fitbit Charge did not serve those purposes well.  The first Charge I had lost battery life at an alarming rate.  After extensive back-and-forths with Fitbit, I finally got a replacement.  The charge worked well, but the sleep portion had two modes (normal and sensitive), neither of which captured my sleep accurately.  I know that my average sleep isn't 8+ hours (unfortunately), and I know that it's not 4 hours (thank goodness).  So, after a spate during which Fitbit wouldn't even sync my (over- or under-estimated) sleep, I gave up, ordered a Vivofit from Garmin, and asked for a refund.*

The refund process has been awful.  Obviously, each "team" (person?) at Fitbit doesn't keep a running customer log.  I got steadfast refusals to refund, one "yes, we'll refund, and here's where you send the old one" email," several "oops--we didn't mean to send it" emails, another "we acknowledge that we've sent you a refund authorization" email, and finally a "we don't care that we sent you a refund authorization--we're still not going to refund you the price, but, hey, thanks for returning it" one.  So Fitbit has my old tracker, and I'm out the money for the Fitbit.

I told Fitbit that my response to this frustration would be to blog about my experience, to tweet about it, and to post reviews, and that's what I intend to do.

Lesson to anyone dealing with the public, part 1:  keep a customer's file in one place, so that you don't whipsaw the customer with contradictory emails.

Lesson to anyone dealing with the public, part 2:  the Internet has a broad reach, and anyone with a keyboard can weigh in (for better or worse) on the company's service.

Fitbit?  Given your decision not to play fair, I'm going to spend some time this morning before work making sure I circulate this blog post as widely as possible. 

UPDATE:  my Amazon review of Fitbit went live this afternoon.

Just as a contrast, one of my Amazon packages was late in getting to me, and Amazon not only credited my account to make up for the late shipping, it also extended my Amazon Prime membership for a month--all because of a one-day-late shipment.  In case you're keeping score, that'd be:

Amazon Customer Service--an infinite number to indicate its truly superior customer service.
Fitbit Customer Service--an infinite negative number to indicate just how bad its customer service actually is.

UPDATE on 1/31/15:  I've been informed that Fitbit has mailed my refund check, but that's after--I kid you not--no fewer than 10 emails from Customer Service refusing to do so, then saying that the refund was coming, then saying it wasn't, etc., etc.  It's a bit like that scene from Noises Off:

Lloyd: [Barging in from the house] What the *...* is going on?
Belinda: Lloyd!
Frederick: Holy cow!
Poppy: I didn't know you were here.
Lloyd: I'm not. I'm in New York. But I can't sit out there and listen to two minutes, three minutes, one minute, two minutes!
Belinda: Lloyd! We're having big dramas back here!
Lloyd: We're having big dramas out *there!* This is a matinee, Love! There are senior citizens out there! "The curtain will rise in three minutes," we all start for the gents! "The curtain will rise in one minute," we all start running out again! We don't know which way we're going!

Fitbit emailed me to let me know that it was my fault for the miscommunication:  I had had the temerity to email Fitbit from two different email addresses, and Fitbit was incapable of realizing that one customer could have two addresses.  Res ipsa.
____________________
* I even actually revoked my acceptance, but Fitbit didn't want to bounce THAT sentence to its lawyers.

Bad customer service winner of the week--Ulta.com.

Apparently, Ulta, "we promise to answer your question in 24 hours" does not mean what you think it does.  Ten days and waiting, and you already shipped the order for which I had questions without first answering the questions.  BAD JOB.

Why doesn't Fitbit trust its customers?

I have a Fitbit Charge.  I have that, instead of the Jawbone, because my Jawbone broke repeatedly and had to have a soft restart about once every two weeks.  Now I have the Charge, which would be better, if it held a charge longer than 2-3 days.  It's supposed to hold a charge for 7-10 days.  Either Fitbit's engineers don't have the same understanding of "7-10 days" that I do, or mine's not working.

What I did like about Jawbone was, each time I needed a replacement, the company trusted me enough to send me out a new one before asking me to send back the old one.  Fitbit refuses to do that, even though the issue of the charge failure is well-known.

Bad customer service, Fitbit.  BAD.

Dear Tim Cook: Steve Jobs wouldn't have bollixed up the Genius Bar this way.

So now, apparently, I can't just make a Genius Bar appointment.  I have to go through too many hoops, including having to override the Support Page itself and, well, lying to Apple to get to a human.

NOTE TO APPLE:   Moving things around because a techie thinks that a change might be cool is not a good justification for change.

Dear Financial Times newspaper: you win; I give up; I will not renew my subscription.

I have tried--and tried, and tried, and tried, and TRIED--to renew my newspaper subscription.  I can't reach a human; when the "human" calls me back, the phone call abruptly terminates after a few seconds; and the website for renewals won't record my credit card, no matter how hard I try:

I give up.  I won't read my beloved Lucy Kellaway any more.  I won't enjoy the weekend section, or the reports on business schools, or the editorials.  (Well, I often didn't enjoy the editorials that much, anyway.)

Please note that THIS PARTICULAR [firstname] [lastname] is calling it quits with your newspaper. 

Dear Apple: fool me once, shame on you; fool me EIGHT TIMES, shame on me.

I give up.  I have owned eight of your Airport Time Machines.  Eight.  And the number of them that have failed catastrophically?  EIGHT, including the replacement one that the Apple Genius gave me yesterday (w/o a receipt, even though I asked).  I have no way of returning it for credit now, so you've cost me a couple of hundred bucks--or over a thousand bucks, if you count ALL of the ones I've purchased.  NO MAS.

LexisNexis must not want me to use its services.

I have changed my password seven times in two days.  It doesn't matter what password I use--LexisNexis will not let me log in.  I give up--I will never use that service again.

Airline inconvenience insurance? Count me in.

The Wall Street Journal gave me the heads-up on this new insurance (here). I can't find the insurance on the company's website yet, but I'm intrigued.

Cox Cable Customer Service--sigh....

So far today, I've spent almost two hours on the phone, on the web, and in live chat with Cox.  Things that went wrong today:

1. The "plug-and-play" new wireless router didn't plug.  Or play.  At least not until I bounced my complaint up to a manager.  That took 40 minutes.
2. The Cox salesperson who sold me the router said, "You can talk with Netgear and rename your router and change the password."  Netgear, on the other hand, said that I should talk with Cox.  Cox said that I should talk with Netgear.  Maybe the two of them have some sort of bet going as to which one can drive me crazy first.  Hint:  It's a tie.
3. We're switching to Contour on Wednesday.  We were planning to watch the old DVR'ed shows before Wednesday, when suddenly the DVR said that we didn't have a DVR plan.  (Oh, and we don't have any cable channels, either, right now.)  We've rebooted, to no avail.  Ah, but I've been listening to beautiful classical music for, oh, 16:35 so far.

So all of the other services about which I've complained over the years?  I think that Cox has all of you beat cold.

Normally, Southwest Airlines is awesome at customer service (UPDATED).

Not this time, though:

UPDATE:  Verity Kugelmann at Southwest reached out to me, investigated, and gave me a much better feeling about Southwest in general.  Thanks, Verity, and thanks, Southwest!

My husband's Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle experience with his U.S. Bank/REI card.

So my hubby and I are fine with credit cards monitoring suspicious activity and putting freezes on our accounts when something looks fishy.  That's great customer service.

What isn't great customer service is when a bank freezes transactions that shouldn't be frozen after specific instructions from the customer himself.

Jeff regularly flings himself out of perfectly good airplanes for fun.  He does this once a month, at the same place--and he has done so since Memorial Day Weekend.

Lately, US Bank/REI has decided that, wherever Jeff is, his credit shouldn't come with him--the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle of Bad Customer Service.  Every month, he tries to charge something at the jump site.  Every month, his account is blocked.  He calls the bank and explains the situation; the bank agrees that the charges shouldn't be blocked; Jeff goes home.  (Of course, when he goes home and tries to pay for parking, the same bank blocks his credit there, too.)

This cycle of folly continues each month:

• Jeff calls the bank to explain that there's no fraud on charges from these two particular sites.
• The bank says that it understands and won't block the charges again.
• Jeff goes to the jump site, charges something, and finds out that the charge was blocked.
• Jeff calls the bank.
• The bank promises not to block the charge.
• Jeff comes home and tries to pay for parking.
• The bank blocks the charge.
• Jeff calls the bank.
• The bank promises not to block the charge.
• Repeat ad nauseum.

The cycle of folly has now ended after the bank, yet again, blocked the charges and then explained to Jeff that Jeff must call the bank ahead of time to explain that he is traveling and to ask--basically, with a "pretty, pretty please"--let his charges go through.

No more.  Now Jeff has a card with a different bank.  And we wonder why banks have such a bad rap.

Serious customer service problems at Premium Media Design.

Tried to order some software.  My tale begins thus:

1. Clicked on website. 
2. Put software in cart.
3. Chose PayPal option.
4. Logged on to PayPal.
5. Paid for software.
6. Returned to site to find nothing in my cart.
7. Repeated steps 2-6.
8. Nada.
9. Wrote to Customer Service.
10. Nada.
11. Called the phone number, which referred me to Live Chat.
12. Clicked on Live Chat.
13. Nada.
14. Wrote this blog post.
15. Am sending a link of this blog post to Premium Media Design.

The best part?  I've figured out what the company means by "we will give you the best service POSSIBLE."

It's not possible.